Say NO More Often

Focus is the ability to do ONE thing at ONE moment.How do we do that? For example, instead of trying to write a blog post, listen to your kids talk about their day, and eating, do just one of those things. When we do too many things at once we never actually do any of them very well. So in the situation I just described, I have the potential to overeat, not provide proper emotional support to my kids and not get my blog post done. When we set a schedule and a time to do each thing, we focus to get it done. So let’s say you intently listen to your children talk about their day for 30 minutes, you validate them and make them feel important, then you tell them mom needs a few minutes to eat her dinner and lastly when the kids are in bed, you spend from 9-10pm that’s it, writing your blog post. Now, these are specific tasks that you can focus on, but let’s take a bigger picture here.You have your family, your personal needs and maybe your business or volunteer needs. Set up a schedule where you can do all those things but not at the same time.

Find what schedule works for you to focus. Maybe your workouts have to be in the morning so you can go to your job and come home to completely focus on you and your family.

Another component of focus is saying NO. Saying no can be just as important as saying yes. Think about it. Let’s say you’re a woman and someone asks you if you’d volunteer your time to help out at an event but it’s at 6am 3 days a week. Now let’s say you’re not a morning person, you have a young child who gets up early, you start work at 9am and you don’t even want to do the volunteer work. But the lady who asks is your friend and you don’t want to hurt her feelings.

Women are naturally very nurturing and caring and sometimes we say yes to too many things or we say yes to things that we don’t’ want to do. So when you say yes, think about what you’re saying no to and vice a versa.

So right now I want you to write down the 5 things in your life that are most important to you whether you are doing them now or not. Maybe it’s that you love taking photographs, maybe it’s you like reading.

Now write down 2-5 things you’re doing that you don’t really want to do or maybe you’re spending more time doing than you’d like.

Notice where you’re focusing your time and where you’d like to focus your time.

Being confident is about knowing who you are, what you want and focusing on the things most important to you by dedicating time in a schedule to do them.

When you do these things, here’s what starts to happen:

– You feel less stressed.

– You feel happier.

– You feel supported and loved.

– You feel excited.

– You feel sure of who you are and what you’re doing.

– You feel and come off as confident.

What action will you be taking today to focus more and become more confident?